| Location | London |
| Age | 0 |
| Date of Birth | 10/2000 |
| Visitors | 11,400 since 29/08/2007 |
| Creator |
Jayden Stephen Abbs
Born 2nd October 2000
Died 27th January 2001
Age 4 Months
I had a healthy and trouble free pregnancy with Jayden, he was a 'surprise' baby, but a
very much wanted surprise.
I went into labour in the early hours of 2nd October 2000, it was a tuesday morning and i was 4 days
overdue. I remember being so excited at finally being able to meet this little person that i had
grown for 9 months, i got Lea to ring the hospital and my mum. I had a very uncomfortable journey to
hospital with contractions coming every 5 minutes, we got to the hospital at 7.30am after battling
through rush hour traffic!
At the hospital i was examined and found to be 5cm dialated! i was given gas and air for the pain
and that seemed to help. As Jayden was my first baby i didn't know what to expect, so i asked
the midwife when would my baby be born?! she said don't expect to have your baby before
lunchtime! But at 9.30am i felt pressure, the midwife checked me out and i was 10cm dialated!!
Jayden was born at 9.52am. The first thing i asked when he was born was 'is it a boy?',
i'd had a strong feeling when pregnant that i was carrying a boy, so i was estactic when i
finally got to meet my precious baby boy! Words cannot describe how happy i was with my new son.
The midwife explained to me that when Jayden was born she had noticed moconium (babys 1st poo) in my
waters and that we'd have to stay in hospital for one night to observe Jayden. I didn't
mind as i wanted to know my baby was ok.
That first night is when things started to go downhill, Jayden didn't wake up and he was not
feeding much but he kept being very sick, i called the midwife countless times and was told 'he
is ok, just change the cot sheets' and i'd get given new sheets. By the morning i just
couldn't wait to get home with my new baby, Jayden was checked over and i was told 'he is
fine'. My mum picked us up from hospital and we all went back to my flat.
That night laying in bed i didn't sleep, like most new mums i kept checking Jayden, but i
noticed that when he was breathing in he was making a strange noise and he had still not woken up.
The midwife came that afternoon and i told her about my worries, again i was told Jayden was fine.
On the thursday the midwife came out again and i told her that Jayden still hadn't woke up, had
not dirtied a nappy and was not taking any milk so i had tried to spoonfeed him water as i was
worried he would dehydrate, again i was told he was ok. Later that day Jayden started to
'jerk' when i touched him, on the friday he was still jerking so when the midwife came i
told her off my worries AGAIN, by now i was getting annoyed as i was being ignored and felt silly
when i would be told yet again that Jayden was fine BUT this time to my horror the midwife took one
look at Jayden and said 'get him to hospital now'. We took Jayden to the hospital and
after a wait he was taken off me and put into SCBU because he was dehydrated, i was not allowed to
go with him at first as they wanted to put a drip in, when i next saw Jayden about half an hour
later he looked like a different baby, he looked so ill. I was told 'Jayden is very sick and we
need to do tests'. I was given a poloroid picture of him and sent home 'to rest'. I
will NEVER forget how heart breaking it was to walk out of the maternity unit knowing my newborn
baby was back inside on his own. :( we went back to my mums as i couldnt face going to my flat and
having to look at Jayden's empty cot, i spent the whole night crying and ringing the hospital
to ask how Jayden was.
By the sunday, Jayden had had loads of tests on his brain, heart, x-rays, scans, lumbar puncture
etc, i was told that the infection Group B Strep was found on Jayden but not to worry as it was not
serious, i didn't worry as i'd never heard of GBS. I was then told the hospital could not
find anything wrong, by now Jayden was on oxygen as his breathing was going downhill. We were told
Jayden needed specialist help and was being transferred to Guy's Hospital the next day. I was
to meet Jayden at Guy's.
The next day i went to guy's hospital, i was told that just before the ambulance was leaving
the hospital Jayden stopped breathing and was now on a ventilator, he had also had his head shaved
as they had to get an emergency line into his skull. As the doctor was talking he said 'we need
to do more tests to find out how bad Jayden's brain damage is' thats when me and my mum
asked the doctor if they had the wrong baby! The doctor then realised the other hospital hadn't
told me that Jayden was brain damaged! What a way to find out, other parents have the news broken to
them, not for me, it was just assumed i knew!
After two weeks in hospital, numerous tests and Jayden flitting between the children's ward and
intensive care, i was told that Jayden was severely brain damaged, it took me two weeks and lots of
crying to come to terms with that, i knew i'd do all i could to bring Jayden up myself. But two
weeks later the doctor told us one afternoon that he wanted a meeting with us the next afternoon, me
and family were to be there. Well me and my mum got VERY hopefull, maybe the prognosis was not as
bad after all?!
The next afternoon me, my parents, Lea and a handful of doctors, nurses etc all went into a room,
the next thing the doctor said will be with me FOREVER, he said 'i'm so sorry but Jayden
has a very rare type of epilepsy, he is completly brain dead, he will die before he turns 2, there
is nothing more we can do, you need to think about taking him off the machines now' with that i
got up, screamed, ran out of the room and callapsed. How could my newborn baby be dying?! Why
wasn't the doctors helping him? why us? why me? did i deserve this?
The next day, me and my whole family went to be with Jayden while he took his last breathes, but it
wasn't to be, he carried on breathing!! After two days of waiting for Jayden to die, i decided
i wanted him at home with his family, so the hospital organised everything, showing me how to use
oxygen tanks, do suction, feed him via a tube and learn to do his medications etc. The ambulance
took us home the next day.
Jayden was so so brave, he carried on for 3 months! It was not an easy time, Jayden would stop
breathing and go blue at least once a week and Lea would give him the kiss of life. Jayden finally
gave up his brave fight on 27th January 2001. I still can't believe he has gone.
Jayden now has 6 little sisters, they all know about Jayden and talk about him, it is heartbreaking
to hear my 6 year old ask why she never got to play with Jayden. She calls him her special
brother.
gobless x
as i read ur story my heart melted you r so brave and ur lil boy is so beautifull no words can explane how it feels to loose a child or a parent im an only child and i lost my mum a year and a half ago my whole world came crashing down but u must go forward and know that he is now ur lil angel with u every momment keeping u all safe godbless u and ur family now and always xxx
Happy birthday Jayden
Happy birthday gorgeous boy you will always hold a special place in my heart, please keep my Bradley company and be proud of your mummy she is very brave xxxx
Keeley,
This is such a sad thing that happend to you and your beautiful baby boy. No words can express the sorrow I feel. Just know that there are soo many people out there that send their love to you. I'm sure Jayden is still around taking care of his sisters and yourself. He is more than an Angel xox
Kate Jones xxx
SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS
I reach out to you,
You reach for me.
We're grieving parents
And will always be.
I searched and found you
As other parents will
And I'm now here to help you
Pull them all up the hill.
Working together in sadness,
Working together in sorrow,
We'll join hands and hearts
To face each new tomorrow.
It won't be easy friends
But somehow we'll get through.
Together my new pals,
We have work to do.
Not the kind to bend our backs.
Nor the kind that makes us sweat.
This work is called Compassion
For everyone we've met.
Because they're hurting badly
They've lost their baby, too
They're looking for some comfort
From friends like me and you.
So welcome the newly bereaved.
Reach out and draw them near.
Hold their pain close to yours.
Help them know that life IS dear.
Though the hurt will never go away,
The edge will someday soften.
The tears will fall in torrents,
But....just not as often.
The days and months that follow
On Death's cruel wake
Swirl like endless madness
Till a friend's hand we take.
A friend who's been there, done that
Knows our pain too well,
Can comfort and can guide us
From our frightening hell.
.*.*.*.*.*. NIGHT NIGHT ANGEL .*.*.*.*.*.
The angel came down to earth
And gave me some angel wings
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
I look down on my family
And watch them day by day
I know my family need me
But I am so far away
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
I know you are asking
Where did you go wrong
And why does it hurt so much
And how do you go on
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
But please understand my family
You are still very dear to my heart
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *.*.*.*
I will always love and miss you
And will welcome you when you come home
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
I send you my love always
Your angel xXx
* * . (\ *** /) * . *.*
.* . * ( \(_)/ ) * * .
.* . * (_ /|\ _) . *. *.*
.* . * . /___\ * . . * .
*. * . * . * . . * *.*.*
written by Jo Dalton 2009
gone but will never be forgotten xx
keeley have just read yor story brings back so many memories i was wiv stuart then. remember the phone call to your mum to say you had gone into labour your mum rushing out the house at 100 miles an hour. Me,stuart and your little brother sat waiting by the phone then your mum told us you had given birth to a beautiful baby boy Stuart jumped around then went to tell everyone the news. keeley i cant start to think or feel the pain you went through abd are still going through all i know is that Jayden is in heaven watching down on you all and thinking how so very proud he is to have a wonderful mum and dad and 6 beautiful sisters. i will never forget jayden and all the memories i shared with you through his short life i still have so many pictures of him he will always be in my heart. Little Jayden stephen Abbs you will never be forgotten darling lots of love xxxx
Xxxx
Baby boy jayden , sleep tight and remeber all your family are missing you , Even people that read this miss you!
I hope all your family are ok?
x x sleep tight x x
Miss you
Mummy misses you so much Jayden. People told me it would get easier, it hasn't. I think about you everyday and wonder what you would be like now. I can't seem to get over what happened. Why does it have to be so hard. Love you.x
A Child Loaned
"I'll lend you for a little time
A child of Mine," He said,
"For you to love the while he lives,
And mourn for when he's dead.
It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you, till I call him back,
Take care of him for Me?
He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have his lovely memories
As solace for your grief."
"I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn.
I've looked this wide world over,
In my search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.
Now will you give him all your love,
Not think the labor vain,
Nor hate Me when I come to call
And take him back again?"
I fancied that I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, Thy will be done,
For all the joy Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.
We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.
But should the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand."
rose once grew
where all could see,
sheltered beside
a garden wall,
And as the days passed
swiftly by,
it spread its branches, straight and tall...
One day, a beam of light
shone through
a crevice that had
opened wide ~
The rose bent gently
toward its warmth
then passed beyond
to the other side
Now, you who deeply
feel its loss,
be comforted ~ the rose blooms there ~
its beauty even greater now,
nurtured by
God's own loving care.
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